Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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?J?o?k?e?

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops