What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops