Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Koalas mum is a slut

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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You will not press the like button.

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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I <3 Hitler

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Today is March 22.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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