What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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