Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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