Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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