Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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