One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops