What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there once was a frog with no leggs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

kesha is a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops