Poop!!

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops