- Anti Joke

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

Who wants pizza crusts?

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

lol im s0 gut at spelign at engrish N u laughd n liekd diZ funi joek XDD u most LUV LE MEMEZ n EMOtikons Lol (^-^) y u guyz so st00p1d at math Wtf???!?!? 1+1=8 i m soooo smurt hahaha I <3 warrior cats n dance 2 gangnum stail wile masturbatin 2 swagbois le raeg comicz ;3!! . And now you are dying of cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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