if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Black people.

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mental kid

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops