What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Penis.

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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