3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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