I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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penis

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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