Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -36

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahaha - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -38

(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops