How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops