How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -26

WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

010010101210001010 You dirty girl

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops