Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

24

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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