What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

thumb_up thumb_down -6

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Women's Professional _________

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -6

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops