What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Black people.

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mental kid

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops