How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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