What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Waffles ate my grandma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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