don't just stand there

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is racecar backwards in reverse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

216-409-7176 Call me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

religion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops