Albert <3 Hunter

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

An epileptic man attends a rave.

What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

Tunechi

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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