Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

Do you love me? No.

Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

I'm at my grandmothers house right now

What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

So does Blake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...