Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops