What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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