A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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