Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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TIMMY

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops