Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops