Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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The Game.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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