What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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