Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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shut up kobe!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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