A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man has a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops