why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

thumb_up thumb_down

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

thumb_up thumb_down

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops