Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

Rick santorum

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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