why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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sdfrgtyuki

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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White men's rights

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops