How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Which is longer? A rope...

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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