Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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