hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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Poop

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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Xbox One

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops