What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Rush Limbaugh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know what's funny? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lets go Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops