Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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