What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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