If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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hi

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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