a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

When is a door not a door? Never.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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