what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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