Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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MAKE

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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your moms my other ride

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I'm sn otter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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