Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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