Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

what's black and can't swim?

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

British Dentistry

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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