Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

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NASCAR

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops