What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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What does water taste like? Water

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops