Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock, Knock ...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the farmer do? plant

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops