Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

This one time at band camp music was played.

Darude- Sandstorm

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

hey

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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