What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops